Because everything change.

I don't see a purpose anymore.

What can we gain, if we keep trying and failing and trying and failing.

How many times must we fail, before we get to success.

And from success, to get another success.

Must we still fail again.

I don't see th point.

Seriously.

And when th success, is not something you want.

But something you need.

Its makes it even more senseless.

I know I should be positive at this time now so I can get my mood to study for my other subjects.

But i really feel like giving up.

I've been trying so hard.

I study every night till tears are filling up my eyes.

I've studied so hard, and no one sees it.

Even th one living under the same roof as me, dont see it.

Why.

We have to work hard for something and for good results.

I've been working very hard.

Why am I not achieving good results.

People say i study the wrong way.

But I've tried many different way.

None worked.

People say im smart.

Just that im lazy to do work.

I believed.

I worked even harder.

But im feeling so tired now.

Im on th verge of giving up.

It's the first paper only.

Yet im overwhelmed by sadness and fear.

How long must this go on.

Motivational videos and quotes don't seem to be a help to me.

Friends and family don't seem like a help to me too.

I feel so helpless.

Helpless. Very very helpless.

How long must this go on.

Really.

If this is life.

I'ld rather give up and be a roadsweeper who enjoys life even though pay is low.

I'ld rather be happy myself even though people despise me.

I don't care.

If the world only talks about certificates and achievements, then it is too heartless.

Way too heartless.

I always had a dream.

It is to open a shop.

A big shop.

And hire people that have no certificates to work.

But now, it seems like i have to work in my own imaginary shop.

So useless right.

Now i understand why people give up so easily in this society.

It is so heartless.

Even though it seems so friendly and warmth.