I cannot control anymore.

I lost th way to control myself.
I feel lonely.
I cannot control myself in anyway.
Relationships, tears, angers, sadness, tiredness.
I feel so helpless. D:
And thats when i realised i still need you, its just that i dont dare t face th truth. And i dont want t. I dont want t get into another relationship. But you are always there.
Glenn, thanks. (: And i dont have th shakespeare(?) slang okay!
Idk what t do after you guys are gone.
I feel like i should be happy.
But, im sad, very.
Because if i every think back.
Most of th times, th people that are always there for me, are always you guys.

Thy said i've changed.
How?
Idk.
I dont feel as active as last time.
I dont feel as happy as last time
I dont feel as cheerful as last time.
And im very angry now because i just read something. FUCK.

Th way you posted it , i post back.
TO YOU.:
I never say your bag laotu before lor.
I never buy that bag myself. Since when i tell you
Dad spon`ed half ley.
Because i save, than have money right.
You didnt even understand what i was talking about.
Break, how many definations are there.
GO THINK LA-.-
I never say i love carebear. i only say that thy are cute.
You dont like me hang carebear on my bag.
Tell me in my face.
You dont go blogging in onsugar like nobodys business.
.You say i only close t you when i have no friends.
Please la-.-
If you want t think like this.
Go on.
I cannot do anything.
I dont care, nobody does.
DONT THIS LOOK FAMILAR T YOU.
Please la. Before you say people, think about yourself first.
(I just posted your posting style, how d you feel. )

And this is where i changed. Too.
I feel inferior. Embrace me, someone. Tell me im not.

I dont know.

Im speechless currently.
And im feeling greedy.
Th cause of these are different.
Thy aint connected. So yea.
I want both, but i cant.
I want t voice it out t you.
But i cant.
What can i do?
Nothing.
Thanks louisa. (:

There are too many routes for us to choose.

Confused. :/

There seem to be too many routes for us to choose to an extent we dont know what to choose. Thus leading us to th wrong route.
School as usual.
Wenshi not as usual.
Argh whatever.
Th mooncake festival thing after school.
Than home. (:
Roller coaster, wordchallenge, msn, blog. (:
Boring now. LOL. nvm, facebook. (:
Later than study.
Oh i forgotten i slacked w Ivy, Koksoon, Yonglee, Ahbeee.
Teeeheees.
I forgot t arrange table today, say want arrange aft sch, forget again. Lol.
I hope that this is Ams. (Oppo of pms la. )
Tired sia. kay.
Word challenge awhile, study! :D
Byebye.
Vitamin-D makes you taller. / Take more. Teehees.

Moodswings.

Imaginations. Insanity. Everything.
Doing art.
Thanks SY for printing my art research. (:
Doing mindmap.
Dont know why does ms tay wants a pictorial mindmap. But its okay.
I realised, its not because of only pms symptoms.
Its also myself.
Angry is pms.
But not feeling like myself is my problem.
Nvm, i just hate th feeling.
Because i got no idea how t overcome it. Damn.
Fish is coming back t sch tomorrow. Yays. I miss her la. LOL. :D
And I espacially hate it when people dont know you but fucking give you face when you talk t their friend because thy just dont like you for no reason. You will never like it, TOO. Who cares how many friends you have? Popularity is fuck. Like seriously. Its nothing good.

The inevitable cycle.

It just goes on, uncontrollably.
When it comes, we just change, and lead our own lifes, and have new friends.
Because our mentality changes.
Damn. im determined t slim down okay.
I fucking grew 6 kg during june hols.
Anyway, is there anyone that has a printable colour printer?
Text me if you have. cause i need you t print research for me
Hehe.
I dont want to care anymore.
Its tiring.
I dont want to think anymore.
Its time consuming.
I dont want to say anymore.
Its useless.
Still wondering which is th correct path.
It will never be solved. F.
I feel weak, mentally and physically. ( Realise this has always been repeated. Cause idk why. And i want a reason. )
Fuck.
Fuck everything.
Fuck nothing.
Fuck th inevitable cycle.
Fuck you.
Byebye.
P/s: Thanks t those who are always there. I love you guys to th max kay! (: *Loves*
-Fishy. D:. Get well soon. Come back quickly. I miss my geog textbook. and you. LOL.

Well, its never same. I feel like dieing now.

Arghs.
Fuck pms.
Fuck crying. (Im crying now. No idea why. )
Fuck everything.
Fuck everyone.
Fuck nothing.
Nothing seems t be going my way. (Maybe other than copying notes.)
I have been mugging this few days.
Pretty hardworking yea.
My stable mentality have gone.
To somewhere idk.
I dont feel like myself.
I feel weak.
Mentally and physically.
Save me someone. D:
;You misunderstood everything word i have typed. Nevermind, just because we see things from different perspective. I give up. Because idk. Idk if you are putting effort into bringing this relationship back anot. Thanks for th green post. Really. I still treat you as a good friend, but whether what you think me of, idk.
Fuck.
Everyone around me seems t have troubles to.
No one seems t be able t cheer me up.
I want a shoulder t lean to and cry.
Idk why. I think i just need someone that truly understand me deeply in th heart. Someone who is there 24/7 along my side and stuffs.
Nevermind.
Its over.
I guess.
Fuck assumptions anyway.
Fuck.
Byebye.

I really wish things didnt change, but it changed. It seems so far to catch it back now.

Sometimes, thinking of what we have done tgt.
Sometimes, thinking of those stupid things we laugh at.
Sometimes, thinking of th days we go take neoprints.
Those days, i endured.
Ziling. I dont want our friendship t end right here. But this is what i want you t know. Really.
I dont like people calling me stupid. I hate it alot. Really.
I dont like it when people say that i am short.
I dont like it when things are meant t be that way, and you can change it, yet being forced to changed.
I dont like it, ALOT, even if its jokes, for fun, but tease or laugh at me. maybe "stupidnesss" is still ok. But i really dont like it.
I dont like it when i say i need t study and when you say I also never.
Its different.
This is what i have endured through between our friendships.
Despite all these.
We still had our fun times, dont we.
I know you endured me times and times too.
I think this is just a break for both of us.
Maybe, i dont know, after th holiday, Monday, we will be like who we were?
Good friends?
Or maybe after th holiday, we will be just like strangers.
Not intefering each other's life, not caring for others anymore.
I really hope you do read this.
I dont know if you like pink not. I have very vague memory for that. But i know you love arial alot. Thus, im putting it like this.

We looked so close, but our understandings between each other, is like thousands of miles away.

Sometimes, it just seems like we aint meant to be good friends.
Th understanding between each other, only seems to be physically.
Knowing your next sentence and stuff.
But not knowing what you really think in th heart.
Ok, today nth much.
School.
Home.
Study science ; physics.
Sleep for 1 hour.
Did homework.
Pack bag.
Blog.
Byebye!:D
And I wont be posting much, like once or twice a week.
Cause im trying to refrain myself from computer
Not only because end of year is coming, i realised that i have addiction towards computer.
So yeah. BYE PEOPLE. (:

Its your choice, not ability.

Hello people! :D
Sbm bonding camp was nice! (:
Pulau Ubin`ed.
Cycled.
Hope those people that fall leave no scars.
Sorry xinyi, i stopped. Thus you fell.
And Amy and Melody, get well soooooon! :D
Cycled, went t chek java.
Fuzhong said its high tide, thus theres nothing to see.
D: , sadded.
Than on th way back.
Felt very very tired.
And was not used to xinyi`s bike. ( But thanks alot for lending! :D )
Saw kaiwen.
Than got slope.
Push bike like all th way.
Chatted.
Almost t th end, than i ask kaiwen.
" Wanna cycle now?"
" WANT LA, I WAS WAITING FOR YOU. "
Opppps. I didnt know laa. LOL. SORRY!
But i was seriously tired out alrdy, dk why. ( It seems like im getting weaker and weaker day by day. )
Changi Beach`ed.
Waited for food.
Walked around.
Food cames.
Wheepeedoopeedoo.
Frisbee frisbee.
Sleep sleep.
Sing sing.
Eat eat.
Walk walk.
Swing swing.
MILO! <3
Than nothing much.
Night was boring.
And theres no more charcoal./
BUT I COOKED TH HASHBROWN WITH BURNING PAPER PLATES.
WHEE. ( its not easy, i swear. )
Than ernest ate it.
And he says its nice! :D Wheee.
SUPER WOMAN. LOL.
No photos. didnt take. :D
Too lazy. HAHA.
Messaged Ivan through th night.
Thanks dude. (:
Ton`ed. ; CHEER UP OKAY!(: Things can be solved.
Morning, wanted to watch sunrise, but thy want go home.
So no sunrise. T.T
I WILL GO WATCH ONE DAYYYY! T.T
Waiting for six oclock than cab.
Cause peak hour or midnight charge. Idk. LOL.
Than cabbed with yi xiang, kaiwen, vicky. :D
Thy dropped me off first. Thanks! (:
Went home.
Bathed TWICE..
still itchy all over. wtf.
But who cares. Too tired.
Just sleep nia.
Hahaha! :D
Woke at 5pm.
Means i slept for ten hours. Whee.
Ate, than here am i blogging.
Wheepeedoopeedoo.
Going to ace-learning. ( I was always in ace-learning, just thought of blogging. Lol. )
Pissed, because schools opening tmr. Like wtf.
Okay. So now,
Byebye! (:

We have a new member in there.

Oh man, something is surely wrong with wenshi.
WTF. -.-
In a ultra bad mood.
No idea, no reason.
Damn!
I feel like dissipating away from this world.
It seems so dramatic.
But it just came t my mind.
It seems like everything is my fault.
It sounds so normal.
But its real.
It just seems like, its not my day everyday. Everything just go haywire.
It sounds like everyone's life.
But its not.
I have been trying to stop sleeping.
But to no avail.
I have been trying to stop using comp everyday.
But i just have that temptation.
In order to study, i ask people out.
But, how many people out there really studies.
I mean mostly when we go out, we just chitchat our ass out and stuffs
Gossips. everything.
Omg. ..
Nevermind, shall post about today.


Morning. Supposed to meet wenfeng at 8 in singpost macd.
But apparently.
Due to this fdisgusting and fugly lizard(S)! in my bathroom.
I CANT BATHE-.- ( I reached at 9.15)
and therefore, have to wait for those two lizards to make their way out. (Its irritating.)
Went in to th bathroom t check every 15 min.
Only until 8.00 than th lizard dissapear.
I feel like somekind of idiot for being freaked by a lizard.
But im just afraid la. Imagine if it touches you.
I will sure be like .WHATTHF~ -.- ( and i bet with you i sure will cry. its not because act or what, but its just so disgusting to me to an extent i just cannot help it. ) -Wtf, this reminds me of being scared by a lizard in th bathroom. and th cockroach climbing up to my skirt. making me scream like no ones business. Bad encounters la. WTF.
Ok whatever.
Bttp.
Bathed.
853`ed down kallang.
Train`ed down paya lebar.
Like finally i reached.
Than wenfeng sucker. still say
I finish studying chemical changes than you come
WTH.
LOL. thanthan, did geog ws and stuffs. (Geog is too difficult. )
Walk`ed to ubi w wenfeng.
Than wenfeng go take his basketball.
Went over to ubi court play awhile
than his sister come down.
JUST NICE RAIN.
Went to shelter. ( hide la ofcourse. )
Than due to boredoms.
Decided to play monkey.
Siala. th sister damn cute but guailan. hehe. :D
Than went home
Supposingly to make my way down to kembangan cc with wenfeng and charlotte to play bball with th rest.
But due to my laziness and tiredness, i decided to go home.
And Charlotte didnt go too. ( I forgot her reason. lol.)
Wenfeng lent me his ds. Wheee. Thanks dude! (No rental fee horh! )
Heh, and i finally can play patapon tomorrow. ! :D PEAR YOU MUST REMEMBER TO BRING AND CHARGE FULL BATTERY FOR ME HORH. (:
Aha, me go room. Sayonara.

I just love being like this, because, this is me.

I dont want t pretend anymore.
Its tiring.
Pretend to be friendly, yet getting comments.
Pretend to be happy, yet getting comments.
Oh like whatever, im enough of all this shit.
Fights and troubles, are you all enough?
Dont you think its tiring?
You may say people, people may ignore.
But, no matter what, thy still will get hurt wont thy.
Even if it is 1%.
Everytime you say them once, 1% adds on to another 1% making it 2%.
Dont you think it is tiring.
To think what to say about th opposite.
And dont you think it is tired, to think about the opposite also.
I mean if you really dont care, you just want t befriend.
Ignore what has happened, but you cant because of your oppo.
That is like ... la.
Accept people la dey, this is not YOUR world.
Who dont want only their besties to exist in th world.
But think la.
What if you quarrelled with your besties.
Who is going to side you.
Who is going to listen to your troubles.
Who is going to help you when you need help.
Who is going to cheer you up.
Who is going to play with you.
Who is going to make you laugh like nobodys business.
WHO IS GOING TO BE THERE FOR YOU. THINK.
You never know.
Thy may seem like your enemy in your life. In your perspective.
BUT HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT, THY ARE TH ONES THAT ACTUALLY WANTED TO HELP YOU. WANTED TO LISTEN TO YOU.
Yes, you said look in another perspective. Idk who you are talking about.
But you dont look at th other. ONLY WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU. Aint it. You know you think negatively, why cant you think POSITIVELY.
If theres a possibility for you t think negatively, why not positively.
You can choose t lead your life happily or not, but you dont want t.
Not only you have family problems, but others have to.
I dont deny i say you before, but, seriously. I just want all these to end.
Whether you read this or not, i dont deny i have once not accepting you before, but think about this or not. I dont care. I just want you t know.


Oh whatever. Enough of it.
Tuition in 11. till 1.
Met kaixun and his friend, pekhan.
Than trained down to sentosa.
Tram`ed over to siloso beach, where aaron thy all are.
Played ball awhile.
Than slacked.
After that went to delifrance for aircon.
Chit chatted, than trammed down t seven eleven.
Got drinks and nachos.
Crapped arnd.
Suhiang and her friend went back.
Than tram`ed back t beach.
Than, Roderick's momma longbang me to katong. Thanks! :D
Hehehe.
Than sang awhile, headed home. :D
Ate.
Than do 3 questions of maths, cannot resist th temp of using comp.
So stopped.
Use comp. LOL. :D:D:D:D
heading t roller coaster now.
Byebye!:D

I hate contradicting people.

You tell people to look on both perspective, but you are the one looking on only one perspective.
Well. Remedial in the afternoon.
Roller coaster in the evening.
Than tuition in the night.
Nothing much.
In skype now with people.(:
Lol.
okay, byebye. ( Im replying tags most probably next week, but still continue tagging me alright! ;D. )

Say oh so hello to my PRECIOUS. (:

Happy third month Precious! ;D
-ONGJIAMIN! ;DStupid precious. Dont emo already kay! :D Later i emo also. Even our third month anyhow bomb deh, but it still three months of precious. LOL. :D

Not like after yelling money will drop right in front of you.

Scoldings came even before one step into the house.
Oh whatever/ I dont care anymore. (Before you explode, i will explode.)
Took bus home, on th way.
This baby, with th father. Very loving, sing song everything. (Toddler la.)
Than th other toddler came up th bus w th mother.
Than keep looking at another baby.
Than like very sad.
The mother see, ignore.
Whatth. Looking at this, i assume that the toddler is jealous of th amount of love and care the other toddler gets. how saddening in my point of view.
But, if it was me, i dont know what will i do. o.o
Fangry, why?
Cause i hell spent $58 for a ugly hairstyle. oh wtf.
Nvm, because i know it will look nice when it grows long.
Thats what you are good at. (:
Thanks! :D.

Well, its just a kids play.

I seem to be kinda happy this few days.
But kinda lazy t post to. LOL.
Its okay.
Thanks wenquan for lending me your phone.
And thanks keith and kaiwen for peing me t escape. (since its my first time. LOL. )
i swear th bubbletea there is disastrous.
Dont ever try.
And escape is ultra boring.
Only th kart thing was funny.
LOL.
Haunted house was kind of self scaring. ( Kept telling myself somethings gonna happen.)
And pirate ship was terrible.
Wobbly all over. LOL. ( even wobblier than kw's tummy. )
Oh man, terrible trip.
Wasted money. LOL.
And, i want my psp back! D:
I want pata pon! (Pata Pata PON! :3 )
Oh man, something hilarious is going on now. And i am laughing, though i dont think im supposed t. LOL.
Found my pink mp4 which totally looks like ipod.
Freaked me out, thought daddy bought new ipod for me since my previous white one was spoiled. LOL.
Saving money, planning t get an itouch/ camera.
I think camera first.
I have been craving for that since early. Oh man!
Oh dang, needa go school tomorrow for ipw project.
Oh faggot, worrying what if comp lab doesnt open. D:
Oh man, cries! D:
Anyway, going marina for hair cut tomorrow with quan. :D
Hope it ends up well, gonna ask for their suggestion.
Contradicting, I want t leave my hair long like last time but i want to cut it. LOL.
Oh man! Crazy wenshi, /
Okay, imma damn bored. (Realise this is a not so wenshi`ic post. But im wenshi la. )
Arghs, bored.
Vocabularys are mad.
Physics formulaes are worst.
"If you never try, you will never know. But if you can predict what will happen, and trying is not a good choice, than why go for it? "
O.O :Latest trala from tws. LOL.
Arghsarghsarghsarghs. Boreddd.
Oh, just slacked with ivy and dkhew.
Ivy went home first.
Walked one more round.
Dkhew kept rushing my t go home study. LOL/
Here i am at home, but not studying. tsk! :D
Thanks for th domokun anyway. :D
Its cute la! :D
Oh man, i cant wait for gl camp!
Because it just seem so torturing and i cant wait t torture myself because its long since i last did that. ( not in th sense of pain. -.- )
Oh damn, im domonically hungry. ARGHS.
Im out of kitkat.
Oh yeah and,
GOODLUCK AND JIAYOU TO ALL NLEVEL TAKERS OUT THERE. :D/
NEVER GIVE UP OKAY! ;D
Tralalalala.
Okay, its time for wenshi t sleep, but not tired. but have to.
Oh whatever. Bye peeps.
(Dont forget to tag my blog kay, its dieing LOL.)

Ironic.

Helloooo. [:
Made cupcakes today. :D
Attempt t do it next time(in other people's house. so their house will bomb. hehehe.) :D
Dont feel like sleeping.
Things keep flashing past my brain.
Too many things going on.
._.
One more month t EOY.
Buck up wenshi! You failed all your cmt only pass hist. like wtf-.-
Time t study.
You guys see how badly wenshi failed. So yes. try your best t not ask her out (unless study. ^^V)
Tralalalala. ;D
Good mood, bad mood.
Thought of something.
Does names really represent who you are?
I can use your name and say i hate you.
But do you guys just accuse them for who thy are?
Like wth.
Get th facts right before you say where got theif ownself say they is theif.
Please la-.-
(i know we are lame, but your aint any better, :D )
Oh tralalalala.
._."
...
k, bye. (: